When your child is neurodivergent, daily life can often feel like a balancing act, between school meetings, emotional meltdowns, therapies, sibling needs, and the constant loop of advocating, supporting, and worrying. It’s no wonder that so many parents tell me they feel like they’re barely holding things together.
Recently, I spoke with a parent navigating just this. Her son had recently received a diagnosis, and while she was focused on getting the right support for him, she admitted she felt exhausted, emotionally frayed, and unsure how to manage her own reactions in the moment.
This kind of honest reflection is more common than you might think. And it points to a powerful truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
For parents of neurodivergent children, self-care often feels like a luxury they can’t afford. But the reality is, it’s a necessity. Not just for their well-being, but for their child’s.
Research shows that parents of children with autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions experience significantly higher levels of stress than those parenting neurotypical children (Corr et al., 2024). This stress doesn’t just affect the parent, it impacts the entire family system, including the child’s emotional regulation and behaviour.
In one study, parental well-being was closely linked to the success of the child’s own developmental progress and family cohesion (Esposito et al., 2023). Simply put: when parents feel supported and regulated, they’re better equipped to co-regulate and respond calmly to their child’s needs.
What Self-Care Really Looks Like
Self-care isn't always bubble baths and quiet time (though those can help too!). For many parents I work with, it starts with permission—to pause, to breathe, and to acknowledge that their experience matters.
It might look like:
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Learning emotional self-regulation strategies to respond more calmly in moments of stress
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Building boundaries around time, energy, and demands
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Carving out small, regular moments of rest and reflection
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Having a space—like coaching—to explore difficult feelings without judgement
As noted by Caponnetto et al. (2022), practical self-care strategies that include emotional resilience training, mindfulness, and professional support can significantly improve both parental mental health and their capacity to support their child.
Coaching as a Form of Self-Care
Many parents come to coaching thinking it’s something they’re doing for their child. What they often realise is that coaching helps them feel more empowered, more present, and more confident in their parenting.
Coaching offers a confidential, non-judgmental space to:
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Explore what’s working—and what’s not
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Develop coping mechanisms for overwhelm and decision fatigue
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Improve communication patterns within the family
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Reconnect with a sense of purpose and identity beyond parenting
In fact, integrated approaches to coaching and psychoeducation can reduce the emotional burden often felt by caregivers, while also improving outcomes for children (Medea et al., 2023).
You Matter Too
If you're a parent supporting a neurodivergent child or teen, please know this: your wellbeing is not a footnote in their story. It’s foundational.
Whether it’s a five-minute breather, a walk around the block, or a conversation with someone who truly gets it, you deserve care, too.
And if you’d like to explore what that could look like in a supported, structured way, feel free to get in touch. I offer a free introductory video call so we can talk through your needs and see if coaching might be a good fit for you.
You don’t have to do it all alone.
References
Caponnetto, P., Maglia, M., Santi, N., Fiorino, L., & Triscari, C. (2022). Parental stress and mental health in parents of children with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Clinical & Developmental Psychology, 4(2), 1–14. https://cab.unime.it/journals/index.php/JCDP/article/view/4764
Corr, L., Miller, H. E., Smith, I. C., & Weiss, J. A. (2024). Understanding parenting stress and resilience in autism: A qualitative study. Psychology Hub, 41(1), 21–33. https://rosa.uniroma1.it/rosa04/psychology_hub/article/view/18204
Esposito, G., Wang, M., & Setoh, P. (2023). Enhancing parental resilience in families of children with neurodevelopmental disorders. LJMU Research Online. https://researchonline.ljmu.ac.uk/id/eprint/26242/
Medea, B., Boncori, I., & Wang, Y. (2023). Parental wellbeing and neurodiversity: Evidence-based strategies for families. Springer Nature. https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=CBbrEAAAQBAJ